
Finding a Man © 2009 Abe Lincoln, Brookville, Ohio
If I was a woman looking for a man, to marry, I would be careful and choose one who served in the Army or the Navy or the Air Force or the Marines — they all know that clap doesn't have anything to do with hands and they all know how to fold sheets. And they know how to make a bed. Some made beds with a blanket stretched so tight a quarter would bounce high enough to catch. They wore metal pots on their heads called a “helmet.” Helmets hold more than enough water to shave with and to take a bath with and to wash your hair with. If you choose a man who wears a pot on his head he will be a conservative; Republican, and opinionated. They are savers; and plant only native plants that require little or no water. They are good in bed, but not that good — that's why Liberals outnumber Conservatives about 10 to 2.
Don't choose a person who thinks it's cool to wear hats backwards (Remember: hats match brains - they do things you will never understand) Beware, ladies, of gentlemen who want to wear their shorts backwards in bed.
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